After a half hour of trying to find out if MJ was dead or alive and why in the HELL that suddenly mattered so much, I had the oddest feeling that something had shifted.
Time or space or something.
Yes, I felt that something shifted too. I still do. It's almost like my life before and after. It's an odd thing, but I think it just brought to surface everything I had been feeling about him all along, but hadn't verbalized or even made conscious.
On the day he passed, the admin assistant for my department actually interrupted a meeting I was having with my co-worker to tell us. It wasn't an important meeting, just the two of us sitting there and discussing something, but she popped her head in and said "just thought you would want to know that Michael Jackson died." I didn't know what to say. I couldn't even really process it or think about it until I got home. One of my best friends was working at the UCLA Pediatric center, which is right next to where he was taken. So I talked to her about it on the way home. I was wondering how Kola would be reacting. Then of course when I got home, it was all that we could think about and we just sat there watching CNN. I got tired of CNN pretty soon after that night and started exploring on my own. I won't ever forget that day.
CK, I was like you, I was hearing an endless loop of Michael singing in my head and I couldn't get enough - every minute had to be listening to him or watching him. I would lay my head on the pillow at night and hear him singing. As soon as I woke up I heard him singing in my mind again. The strangest thing was that I also heard his name being repeated as I tried to fall asleep. So then I started to read anything I could get my hands on and really try to understand this intriguing person and answer the questions I had in my mind. I was stunned with the enormity of what happened to him and how he was destroyed, but still managed to survive and come out stronger for the TII concert rehearsals. I was getting ready to start writing a journal so that I could express everything he means to me when I finally stumbled on the Amazon forum. What a life saver, and what a revelation that people were going through the same thing as me! I was so happy to find you all, people who wanted to talk about the artistry and the music, the spirituality and his beauty!
I'm sure you've all heard my story before, but I still find it so amazing, that I really enjoy sharing it again. I very much appreciate the friendship that we've all developed, and thanks to this man.
